Last week I told my bf i needed to start actually sticking to my budget so i could save more money & this morning i bought like $50 of socks & shirts & FINALLY a pair of Doc Martens I’ve been eyeing for truly 3 months that wasn’t even on sale because I was like “what good is all that money in my savings account”

Looking at dolls kill clearance…one of these days I will accept that I am a square who is simply sympathetic to the weirdos

I do not know how I was doing long distance. I haven’t seen my bf since Friday & I won’t see him until Wednesday & I am very sad about it & miss him!!

My boyfriend’s beautiful 15 year old cat died yesterday. It was pretty sudden so I still can’t really believe it happened (not sure of the cause but it was essentially old age) & we’ve both been crying a lot because she was truly the smartest, prettiest & sweetest cat I’ve ever met & he LOVED her…. He’s been handling it well so far (crying about it, talking about it, but still being able to go out & do errands that we need to). But I’m gonna miss her meows & purrs.

When I talk to non-family/close friends I stop myself from talking about my boyfriend even tho he’s like…a significant part of my life & I spend probably most of my time with him & it’s already been a year & it’s not because I don’t want people to know (I want everyone to know) but because I feel like it would sound like I’m bragging!! Or like I’m one of those ppl who wants everyone to know that they have a cute boyfriend (I AM one of those people but I just don’t want to SEEM like one of those people) how do I get over this!! I wanna be a normal person & know how to talk about my boyfriend like a normal person!!

I rarely really thought about babies in a real sense before but now that I’m in a serious relationship that I can see a future in, I actually get really sad that I probably can never/should never have kids with my bf because of climate change…we could still potentially adopt, but it feels immoral & irresponsible to create more life esp when the environment is not going to be conducive to a happy healthy life for anyone…….

I was listening to a podcast in which they mentioned Hotline Bling & I remembered, when the video came out a few years ago, my Mormon roommate, her Mormon boyfriend & I were watching music videos. I saw Hotline Bling in the suggested videos & I was like “oh the light & colors are v beautiful we should watch it” & there’s a bunch of sexy women in it ofc. I remember my roommate’s boyfriend was like uncomfortable & asked that we change the video & outloud I was like “yeah! That’s fine” but inside I was TERRIFIED because I was like… THAT turned you on & you’re so ill-equipped to deal with your sexuality because you’ve been forced to repress it for so long that like…THIS made you uncomfortable??? I dunno if I’ve properly communicated how that moment of realization felt to me but, still, I forget how terrifying mormon cishet men’s sexualities are.